you could be the moon, you could be the harbor i arrive to.
It’s really funny when you keep saying “it’s okay I know you’re saying no, so I won’t force you.” But yet I have to continue repeating myself every time you ask to fuck me. NO
Last night was weird and I need a break.
I’ve been so fucking horny lately wtf
Jeremie told me that I’m probably the best blow job he’s ever received. So yeah I’m pretty proud. I wish it could post it on Facebook or something.
Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows.
i *maybe* should have taken a sip of water before doing this
I need you so much closer
Always Death Cab
I’m not a prophet, but I’m here to profit.
That’s my life.
Nothing is sacred.
I don’t fall in love, I just fake it.
IT’S A SEX TOY GIVEAWAY TIME!!!!!!
Okay guys so here’s the deal, you’ve been putting up with all my ToyDirty posts for a while now and it’s time to celebrate.
Each week I’ll be giving away one of these best selling $121 dollar Lelo gigi vibrators along with another smaller prize of your choosing from the picture seen above. The last winner will also get the couple-friendly $188 dollar Lelo ora as well.
If you don’t want to wait you can purchase these on my site ToyDirty right away and they are by far my favorite, most recommended products. You can get any toys for 10% off with discount word “gold10" until the giveaway is over.
Each vibrator is made with body-safe silicone material, comes with a 1-year warranty, is fully rechargeable and has multiple adjustable stimulation settings.
And all you have to do is like or reblog this post as often as your little heart desires to increase your chances. You don’t even need to be following me and a winner will be chosen every Friday until April 11th with a random number generator.
You must be 18 or over to participate and this is in no way affiliated with tumblr.
GOOD LUCK ;)
BUT THERE ARE STILL TWO MORE CHANCES TO WIN, PICKING THE NEXT WINNER THIS COMING WEEKEND SO KEEP LIKING AND/OR REBLOGGING TO INCREASE YOUR CHANCES!!